A Group Eulogy to GOA Nightclub RIP 2008-2008

Hollywood mega hotspot of (early) 2008 GOA had the lifespan of most hardware store goldfish.

Michael Sutton (General Hospital '95) finally gave up on trying to convince the police and alcohol beverage comission that this was actually a restaurant. 

Opened: February-Out of Style: April - In a Coffin: August 2008.

In honor, I compiled a group eulogy culled from yelp and others: Like High School cool kids, "popular" means "everybody hates ".

"It's everything you can hate about a Hollywood club, and then some." 

"The bouncers are as charming as surprise pregnancies: "People, MOOOVE out of the walkway! Come on now, It's not rocket science!" Trippy McPower Tripper, don't even make me point out the irony inherent in a bouncer expertly opining on spacecraft engineering."

"The sushi was warm and smelled like an anchovies vagina." 

"A ceaseless parade of idiots." 

 "It's cheesier than a Frenchman's penis and rife with all of the iconography that IS douchebaggery.  Cologne, hair product, True Religion jeans, Ed Hardy T shirts,  breast augmentations done at a Tijuana drive through covered by 80% off Forever XXI sale dresses."

"Bring out the wine, because here's the cheese:  GOA = NO-a."   



"At midnight the POLICE came into the club and the DJ started to play elevator music... REALLY BAD. I asked a waitress and she said when the police come in the club turns into something different."

Goa-ing, Goaing...Gone. - EaterLA

How could this not survive? You're on the clock, Stork.