Nightclub and Bar Magazine has finished polishing its Pulitzers in time to publish it’s annual list of the Top 100 Clubs in the USA, based on revenue for 2008.

True to the sloppy, shady, and dark DNA of the industry, the magazine didn’t actually post the list in its online story. The numbers look inflated and more wrongish than an “Automatic Gratuity” added on top of a “Service Charge” that you might drunkenly sign for with a bonus tip under a maglite.

Thanks to our friends at NYC party/event site Guest of A Guest. They trancsribed the top 50 themselves.

No surprise to readers here, Tao (Las Vegas) is #1. The top LA spot is apparently The Highlands #19 (inside the Hollywood and Highlands complex) followed by The Avalon #20 and literally some place we have never ever heard of called “Servella” at #30.  Yeah, I wouldnt let these list makers do my taxes either.

Top Revenue in Each City (National Rank):

NYC: Pink Elephant (#3)

Miami: Mansion (#6)

Chicago: Crobar (#15)

Check out the rest of the list here.

7:50 PM
So what happens during the commercials in the theater? Hugh Jackman handed out cookies to his wife and the audience.

525 PM:

Mickey Rourke and Seal Greet Each Other on the Carpet

5:09 PM:

Susan (Levin) Downey and Robert Downey Jr. on the Oscars Carpet.

4:57 PM

A Chimp.net operative walking the red carpet right now (Sunday 447 PM) just texted Sarah Jessica Parker.

Meanwhile across town arrivals for the “viewing portion” of the Vanity Fair party (second tier invitees) are underway.

The "limo check in" is on this writer's doorstep. This was taken from my front door. Those two ladies arent scaring anyone, but the 150 yards of sheriffs on both sides of the street might.

Ashton Kutcher gave a sneak preview tour of tonight’s double secret exclusive Oscar party.

Third host Guy Oseary is a talent manager. He reps Madonna. He also reps A-Rod and throws parties. For a full listing of tonight’s Oscar parties, check out the party grid tab up top.

The Tag the World Charity and American Humane Association Gala was the rare awards week party at a nightclub. Newly opened “MyHouse”, quickly earning a reputation for an awfully disorganized door/velvet rope, hosted the event last night. (Sat Feb 21).

Little Golden Man weekend had Little Golden Woman Tila Tequila. She hugs the dog from "Marley and Me" on the red carpet last night.

Two people who have to work on air all day on Oscar Day went out anyways: Ashlan Gorse (E! News ‘current) and Joey Fatone (TV Guide Channel ‘current). Other boldfacers: the suddenly “on the scene” Terrell Owens, and hosts Wilmer Valderrama (Taft H.S. - CA ‘99) / Amber Valletta (Booker T. Washington HS - AZ ‘92)

Also, all but one of these people were once Punk’d. Donations still accepted here.

Bally’s Hollywood Domino brought celebs and fun civilians to play Dominoes, (not poker, not Wii, yes dominoes) christen the Andaz West Hollywood with an Oscar Friday party as part of Vanity Fair’s “Campaign Hollywood”. (Fri 20 Feb)

The Garage PR's Adam Ambrose and 944 Magazine Editor in Chief Martine Bury

One professoinal artist mega canvas and one scriblle wall (pictured) for guests to show their non talent.

Twitteraholics Demi and Ashton showed. As did Prince, who shuffled in to a corner table of the lobby bar with no entourage except his sparkly cane (later identified as a diamond baton). He is short, short, short.

The Bounty

The Alive! Green Expo emerged from the womb of the Sofitel in West Hollywood today (Fri 20 Feb).  Think of it as ” the whole foods of gifting suites”. The goods even come in a cloth bag you can use to take actual Whole Foods groceries home with consciousness (ie: without killing trees).

Universal-Stone: This all natural cleaner can somehow erase Sharpies. From marble, tile, wood, or even a drunk passed out person's face (their story, not mine).

In a semi green moment, we saw “Blowout Star” Jonathan Antin smoking a cigarette near some green bushes on Beverly out front, Andrew Dice Clay looking like he also knew A-Rod’s cousin rocking indoor sunglasses, and 2 American Idol kids still on the show, oblivious to Oscar week, hanging around the lobby kind of getting noticed intentionally.

Lipstick Bailbonds: More Pink than Green. They pick up the falsely accused in a monogrammed Pink Humvee, feed them lipstick chocoates and give customers clean pink clothes to wear or a hat to hide their face. If they skip bail, pink handcuffs and a mace gun await. We demo'd both.

The Alive Green Expo continues through tomorrow (Saturday 21 Feb).

New entry to the Oscar Week “Party House” scene this year = “The Haven”

The first night party vaguely somehow related to the movie “The Wrestler” and was sponsored by the sweaty wrestlers of the WWE last night (Wed 18 Feb).

Guests Posed with real WWE Champsionship Belts in a very believably real backdrop and go home with a polaroid. Retro cool.

There was a scarily realistic wrestling video game. You played as Hulk Hogan or Andre the Giant from Wrestlemania 3 (1987) in detail. Hulk won ever match played. We think the machine was rigged.

Enjoyed Complimentary Luxury Car Transpo from the House by driver Victor in a Hyundai - the "official luxury car of the Academy Awards". It was lux. No joke. Yes Hyundai, like "Sunday"

The Haven contines through Friday with gifting of Hoover Vacuum cleaners, vodka, and sunglasses by day and a party hosted by Jamie Kennedy tonight (Thurs 19 Feb).

Artist Louis Carreon revealed his 2009 collection at the Celebrity Vault on Canon in Bev Hills on Friday night. (13 Feb)

This year’s collection features a wider variety of sizes.  Carreon’s chosen icon of Hollywood “pretty/happy on the outside, ugly on the inside” culture - the smiling teddy bear - now appears in faux Vogue and Vanity Fair covers.

The crowd was thirstier than last spring. The packed room drained every drop of vodka, ice, and mixers by the halfway mark of the reception.

The show runs through March 12.

Amar’e Stoudemire hosted the “Kick-Off” of 944 All-Star Weekend”. The superbowl is long over, but the lifestyle bible of the desert is still “kicking things”.

Baron and Cash just premiered "Crips and Bloods: Made in America". The doc reveals american history woven in to the DNA of the LA gang culture. Attended the premiere 3 nights ago, so I could write my own fancy "main idea" statements like the one above.

Tony Parker (All-Star ‘09), movie produer buddies Baron Davis (Crossroads H.S. - CA ‘97) & Cash Warren (Jessica Alba’s husband), party friendly NFL’er Brian Urlacher (Lovington H.S. -NM ‘96) and more athletes made it to christen the new W in Scottsdale.

Common, Talib Kweli and others will perform over the weekend in Wonder Bread McCain-land.

Capcom turned the Geffen MOCA Museum (downtown) in to just a Street Fighter video game museum to celebrate it’s 20th anniversary last night. (Thurs 12 Feb).

I vaguely remember this machine.  It was programmed to kick my ass and drain quarters out of my pocket next to the Orange Julius. Two attending celebrities dressed as characters from the game to help jog everyone’s memory.

Taboo (Black Eyed Peas '03) Channels "Guy with Mask"

Bai Ling (But Can They Sing '05) Honors Girl Who Kicks Your Face ('89)

High Fives for Additional Photos from Princess Meech & Startracks