Head to Head: You vs. Olympic Champion Natalie Coughlin

OLYMPIC SPOILER ALERT:


Warning you...this is a spoiler.
****
A chrystal ball time machine Delorean from the future just told me that USA swimmer Natalie Coughlin (Berkeley '05, Backstroke World Record Holder '08) will shame puny foreigners tonight on NBC. (Mon 11 August)

Safe to say that the only thing we share in common is our trainer Grace Lazenby (University of South Carolina, Equinox West Hollywood 'current). Grace founded ITrain, that saves you $120/hour by downloading a top professional trainer's full workout, set to music, via MP3/Itunes. Coughlin created her own Olympic-ass whooping workouts as programs that you can download, listen to, and fight off a heart attack while attempting to keep pace with in real time.

Coughlin told a CHIMP.net operative "I want to share my knowledge of training on a platform (pun)that everyone can use."

On medal eve, Lazenby (right, with Cheryl Hines left) told TheCHIMP.net "The unique thing about Natalie is that 50% of hertraining is out of the water."

Even after brushing up against Grace for a few years, it is agreed a 2.5 hour head start would be an appropriate head start in head to head client competition.

Inspired to Olympic Greatness? Dive in to ITrain over here.

Celebrity Kickball in Malibu

Billed as "The Battle of the Summer". By our count, that would be the 2nd skirmish in that zip code this summer.

Just 7 days ago, I emerged victorious in a croquette tournament while breaking the "tennis whites" dress code on an elite lawn of Nantucket, Mass.

Back in outer space aka the west coast we do more normal stuff, like Saturdays playing Celebrity Kickball in Malibu, courtesy of French Connection. Yes, that is a step and repeat finagled on a baseball backstop. (Click to enlarge)Yes, that is the ,godfather godmother of blogging, a no-more-backfat Perez Hilton. Kudos, mate!

Team Captain Leslie Bibb (St. Gertrude's H.S. - VA '92, Iron Man '08) tends to a bloodied knee. All bleeders got automatic MVP kudos.

Nick Kroll (Best Week Ever 'Current) is awesome at eating watermelon and drinking Newcastles in the outfield. You must get to know him better.'Kicks to Hostess Alle Fister (Pepperdine '04) who could gaze at her alma mater perched across the PCH ...if she wasn't rocking out with a boombox in her face.
As new resident of CW's 90210 Ryan Eggold (West Beverly '10) stepped to the plate, he waived off the suggestions that he is "The new Luke Perry" and "The New Ian Ziering".Jessica Schimmel (Star Magazine ' Current) and Elissa Buchter (Cardozo H.S. - NY, U Miami) are not lost on their way to the Bridgehampton Polo Grounds.

It's been less than 48 hours, and all 4 Chipotle free burrito coupons in the giftbags are DUST. See people, gift bags work.

Live Blogging: ESPN Awards - ESPY's Style Studio

TheCHIMP.net is on location today, Tuesday, and Wednesday (14-16 July) for the pre-ESPY award "Style Studio"/celebrity cocktail lounge and gifting suite at the Standard Hotel in downtown LA.

Check back for frequent updates, preferably on the early side. Once the plentiful free Lotus Vodka cocktails kick in, typing gets fifficult..

Live From the ESPYs Style Studio Gifting Suite - Downtown L.A.

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Canada Day Celebrations in L.A.

Is it cliche for a "Canada Day" celebration congregating elite L.A.nadians to feature Molson Beers, an NHL hockey team owner, and the host watching a 1972 USSR vs. Canada classic on ice?(Click to See Full Size)

New Tampa Bay Lightning Owner Oren Koules (E.P. Two and Half Men 'current) enjoys a Molson bottle over a classic USSR vs. Canada hockey game at his fiance's italiant eatery Terroni on Tuesday night (1 July 2008)

Koules and fiancee' Shereen Arazm (Owner - Terroni/Central/Parc 'current)

Even More Boston in the Finals

ABC now serves The NBA finals with a side dish of ads for hyper-obstacle-course reality show "Wipeout". Even on the court itself.I am pleased to announce that I cast the host for this show. After wading through talent all spring, John Henson (E!'s Talk Soup '02) won the title of my casting competition. Another Massachusetts ingredient in the finals.

First episode airs: Tuesday, June 24. 8 PM.

Wimbledon Is Not Enough. Venus Williams Graduates Cum Laude

(Left to Right: The Graduate, Mother, Sister Iisha, Sister Serena, photo by Criminal Mike)

Congrats to our friend and "fest" regular Venus Williams (Art Institute '07)! From the Ft. Lauderdale Art Institute's Class of 2007,

• only one student won "Best Sportswear Line",
• only one graduate whose school project got picked up by Steve and Barry's,
• and only one graduate has hoisted the Wimbledon, US Open, and 14 other grand slam trophies.

She also celebrated uniquely with a South Beach graduation party hosted by luminaries Michael Capponi (Opium Gruop, Set, Mokai'i) Antonio Misuraca (The Forge, The Mark), and Criminal Mike (#1 Gifter of Custom Kicks - above) at the Hotel Victor last night (Thurs 12.13).

Shop V's line "EleVen" here.


Previously Related: Graduation 2006

SIGHTING: Red Sox Manager Beats Everything but a Cold

We're not sure anybody ever said "The Red Sox will win the world series (twice) before there will be a cure for the common cold".

However, TheCHIMP.net superspy from Boston, Rachel G. (Longmeadow H.S. - MA '91, Brandeis '95, '00) sent in this important scientific observation confirming it today:

"Terry Francona is next to me at CVS."
Terry (World Series Champ Mgr. '04, '07) popped in to the CVS at Brookline Ave & School St. (Brookline, MA) at 2:40 PM today (Sun 12.9). He bought Sudafed Daytime for Cold and Cough, an Aquafina water to swallow the pills, and drove off in his black escalade.

Even in the off season, he sported his oft ridiculed navy long sleeve nightgown thing, with the neckline "B" logo, and some earthbound blue sweatpants. The official pharmacy of the Red Sox did not "comp" his cold medicine.

Why no cell phone paparazzi photo? "I was too close to him" says Rachel. Booh.

Celtics and Miami Heat "Club" Together After the Game

Ray Allen and Criminal Mike in a Dec 2006 file photo courtside in Boston.
Courtesy of: Boston Celtics

The stars of the Miami Heat didn't let their 95-85 loss to the Celtics prevent them from hosting their victors to a local South Beach late night on Friday (11.30). Borrowing a tradition from Beerpong, they drank together following the game.

Friend of the NBA, Criminal Mike (Syracuse '97) met up with Celtic saviors Ray Allen (UConn '96, All American '95-96) and Paul Pierce (Kansas '99 - left eary) at the often urban club "The Fifth" after the game. That's normal. The surprise? Heat front man Dwayne Wayde sharing the table and company. This followed a post game dinner scene at Prime 112.
Crim accidentally sat in Pierce's booth top seat causing a mini Mexican standoff. This friction comes as a surprise seeing that Pierce spent his off-court time in Kansas majoring in "Crime and Deliquency Studies".
.

Lebron James Parties Before Game Day

Can you party at boutique Hollywood nightclub SHAG late on Saturday night and wake up and beat the Clippers on Sunday? Lebron James answers that question today. [UPDATE: Yes. 22 pts. , 6 steals, Cavs 103-Clippers 95.]
DJ Mark Da Spot (Timberlake touring DJ 'current, Shag host Saturdays 'current) and the king Lebron James (St. Vincent - St. Mary's H.S. (OH) '03, Cavaliers 'current) at SHAG last night (Sat. 11.10).

Video girl Melyssa Ford (York Univ, Canada '98, Big Pimpin Video '00, "Yeah" video '04) right, and (unknown scenestress).

Good luck to Mark Da Spot on his upcoming UK club tour beginning tonight (Sunday 11.11). Stay up on all the club news at our sister publication, written by TheCHIMP.net staff. "A Shout from Mikey".

Hip Hop Did NOT Love...

De La Hoya very much. Floyd Mayweather's after fight party (Hosted by Jay Z) at TAO. (Las Vegas, Sat. 5 May 2007)

Georgetown - Final Four Festing

Georgetown University's N St. after the Hoyas beat UNC to go to the final four. (Sunday 3.25.07, 8 PM)

Georgetown, a school in the jesuit tradition - a tradition that introduced alcohol to the natives of the "New World" - celebrated the final four.

A student's first hand account of March Madness

When overtime hit people came out of the houses, ripped off their shirts, ran into the streets and started running and screaming. A riot formed on the library steps and took up a block of N Street between 36th and 37th. Someone started lighting fireworks in their front yard (no professionals.. kinda scary). Non-stop chanting of "hoya saxa." "Fuck Ohio State." "Roy roy roy roy.." "Jeff Green's Mom." (unclear about the last one..)

Read the all the details of a campus run to the white house and the full email here

Ed Abele (Deerfield '94, UNC Swim Captain '98) pre-ordained this outcome earlier in the week with this email to Eddie Amorosi (St. David's '90, Deerfield '94, Georgetown '98, Merril Lynch 'current):

From: Edward Abele
Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2007 11:19 AM
To: Edward.Amorosi; Francisco Garcia Tunon (Deerfield '93, Georgetown '97); Spencer Robertson (Deerfield '93, UNC '97)
Subject: Memorable rematch??

"Ammo, College athletics is no longer about student athletes it is about WINNING. If I wanted to boast about academic awards I would have gone to PRINCENTON (sic)."

At "Princenton" it might have been about both. Where are you Ben Heyworth? (Greenwich Country Day '91, Cum Laude '93 (a year early), Deerfield '94, Princeton LAX Champions '96, '97, '98, Columbia Med School '03, Father '05)

Additional Coverage in "The Hoya" Student Newspaper: Here

Thanks to Ed Amorosi for the top photo.

The 27th Mile

Rich Leist (Muskeegan High School, MI '98, Young Americans Singing Group '00s) did not go out last night. He instead spent 4 hours and 4 minutes this morning getting surnburnt like a Arkansas couch potato at a Sandals resort while burning off thousands of calories. David Shumsky (U of AZ Track Scholarship '97, Deal or No Deal Model Casting Director '05) also completed 26.2 miles around LA in 5:30 running the LA Marathon.

Even on Sunday night, hours after the race was over, both athletes continued their write-in campaign to have Cabo Cantina as the official water stop on the course. Good luck for next year.

My Prom Date Goes All the Way

Congratulations to my prom date for making a great decision: Annabelle Richardson ’94 is engaged.

Annabelle (Cedar Rapids H.S. ’90-91, Deerfield ’94, Boulder ’94-95, Hamilton ’98, Imaginary Forces ‘current) may best be known as the only person to go from public school “pom-pom and pigtails” cheerleader to turn to sweater/megaphone/socially selective senior “cheerleader”….and a rare Iowa’n at prep school.

In the spirit of this news, please enjoy these photos of this year’s Choate Day Banners in the run up to DA’s “thumping” of Choate 31-6 (word of the month - Nov ’06) AT Choate on Saturday, November 11.

Elements of what appears to be an expanded spirit week included: “Everybody Wear Green” Day and a baffling Deerfield orchestrated re-baptism of Choate with some type of pig nick-naming..curious.

If anyone can shed light on the deal with the Choate pig thing, please email me.

The full wedding announcement is here.

UPDATE 12.10.06: Is a pep rally bonfire supposed to look like a terrorist attack? Weird.

A Marathon of Misconceptions

Sometimes people who are the same age, who pursue the same exact profession, and who share the same social profile, have different notes of their similar personalities muted or blasted.

A casestudy:On a recent "Send/Receive" session in Outlook, I received emails from two friends...and I will blast them both.

LT Thompson (Deerfield '94, Williams '98, Insight Express '99, Capitol Concepts '01): First to the altar, first to change a diaper, first alumni cheerleader to be banned from his prep school campus, only friend of TheCHIMP.net to own a oft ridiculed piece of sitdown lawn machinery, LT Thompson remains the pinnacle of productivity.

LT's news: Deerfield Tri Team Captain LT completed the 26.2 mile course of the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, DC in 4:25 with energy and spirit to spare on Sunday, October 29. After, he showed off the Georgetown Campus (steeples pictured at the top) to his wife and daughters.

Meanwhile.....

Criminal's News:
From the Miami wing of TheCHIMP.net readership, Criminal realizes significant misconceptions he has given his maid - an unintenional self-indictment. The email text reads:

There's no question that my cleaning lady either
a) thinks I'm crazy
b) thinks I'm gay or
c) thinks all of the above.

Here's what she finds when she cleans my place:
Multiple wigs
Rocket launcher
Kite
Caveman bone
Pink Shorts…socks, headband, etc. In my room, several other random costumes ... Makeup in my bathroom (Cleveland Indians eye black) ... Cut up fur vest ... Rabbit ears .... Picture of me naked in shopping cart (which she nicely placed on my nightstand) .... Pictures of me on an oil rig .... A stuffed animal ....baby chimp (which she always places on my bed nested upon the pillows) .... Other men's clothing .... Lots of empty liquor bottles Condom wrappers (btw not mine...they're for sailors) And a box of candy that says "I'm not a tranny"

MORE to on this topic in future posts.

The Amazing (Disg)Race

Each television season, a group of intrepid Deerfield adventure fans join together for a small stakes fantasy reality pool – drafting teams in pairs and supporting them on their race around the world. Reflecting the diversity of the cast, we have a geographically diverse field of contestants for this fall’s edition:



LT and Lela – Married with 3 daughters (2 pictured) from Hickory, North Carolina
Ted and Serena – freshman participants - professional singles from Manhattan
Greg and Andrea – newlywed lawyers from Austin, Texas
Chris and Tania – cultured MBA educated parents from San Francisco
Mikey and Melissa – LA Faker Douchebags

Well, the last description hasn’t been “network approved” per se, but considering the hasty dispatch of the duo, it does seem appropriate. As LT called it, “Team Hollywood” got expelled curtly. One of only 2 people that luckily got 3 teams instead of two, all 3 teams got eliminated in the first 2 episodes ... a near statistical impossibility.

While The Amazing Race has won the reality Emmy every single year since its introduction, maybe one day when accepting a reality casting emmy, I will point this out in the way high school coaches share this cliché.

Feedback UPDATE:
"This is akin to LT getting beat at a lawnmower riding competition." - Greg Lowry

Kurt Angle, Wes, and LT - All Pennsylvania Olympians

Deerfield Triathlon Team Captain LT Thompson inducted Wes Battle for the 2006 edition of the annual North Carolina race on Saturday, August 13.

While the inaugural 2005 edition reeked of some weekend warrior abilities, Wes' presence characteristically raised the stakes - this time to Olympic distances. The race:

1 Mile Swim
27 Mile Bike
6.2 Mile Run

LT (Deerfield '94, Williams '98, Insight Express '99, Hickory 'current) and Wes (Shady Side Academy '89, Exeter '93, Deerfield '94, UVA '98, US Navy OCS '02, Navy 'current) made colorful reports.

Newly 30, LT ran 3:05 to scorch last year's "29 year old guy" time by 7 minutes.

In what I believe was his virgin encounter, Wes got dealt some clumsy fortune: 2 flat tires, a dropped bike chain, and the distracting shock and awe of the fringe divisions. Yet he finished in 3:30 and filed a coloful report that begins....

“The race went as predicted in some ways and others did not…. After awaking at 4:30 to hear from LT that he had already taken two dumps, we drove in a monstrous rainstorm to Wilkesboro, about 45 minutes from Hickory, with LT’s buddy Hank, a fellow Clydesdale competitor (+200 lbs.) I was impressed, by the way, that LT’s friend Hank is a college educated and could complete full sentences….”

Read the full email by running your mouse down to the jump link below -->

I would like to congratulate LT for putting up a strong effort and beating his last year’s time by over 7 minutes and beating me soundly. The race went as predicted in some ways and others did not.

After awaking at 4:30 to hear from LT that he had already taken two dumps, we drove in a monstrous rainstorm to Wilkesboro, about 45 minutes from Hickory, with LT’s buddy Hank, a fellow Clydesdale competitor (+200 lbs.) I was impressed, by the way, that LT’s friend Hank is a college educated and could complete full sentences. (just kidding: great dude) Anyway, so we arrive in the pitch black deluge at the race and LT is complaining that he is going to deuce himself so he takes off in a sprint when we park, locking us out of the car so I cannot get my ID from my bag and meet him at the registration as planned. Anyway, LT would go on to take his 4th pre-race #2 about 15 minutes prior to the race, this time in the woods as the Porta-potties are jammed. My race drama increases 20 minutes before the race when my rear tire goes flat on me but I am able to get it fixed by a bike guy in 10 minutes…whew!

LT starts the swim 9 minutes ahead of Hank and me, making a compelling dynamic of the whole race. As predicted, I come out of the 1 mile swim 3:30 ahead of LT (still 5:30 behind him on the course) LT beats me by 1 minute in the first transition (By the way this is all post mortem analysis as we have no idea where we are in relation at the time) Then, as I am hopping on my bike, I notice my front tire is flat: unbelievable. I am devastated and I luckily have a spare and fix my front tire in exactly 10 minutes but know, that for all intents and purposes, my race is over but can hopefully take some satisfaction in finishing within 19 minutes of LT now.

But I could not have predicted the severity of these hills. They were brutal and crushed me. I have not trained in the mountains. Jax is very flat and I was very unprepared. I ended up losing an additional 20 minutes to LT on the bike. LT put another 8 minutes on me in the run to win by 37 minutes or 27 if you deduct 10 for the flat. Everything went as expected, I beat LT by 3:30 in the swim, he beat me by 2:30 in the transitions, he beat me by 8 in the run but the real surprise was the ass kicking on the bike.

A side note: LT’s buddy Hank is a stud, finishing in 2:50, placing 2nd on the podium in the Clydesdale division. LT was at 3:04 and I was 3:41.

It was an awesome challenge, so much fun and hope you guys would consider joining in a future year. I know I will be training harder and will come back next year to the Bandits Challenge.

This is the 2005 team picture. John Hansel, LT, and I running the wimpy "Sprint" division....or resting afterwards.

The New Poster Child for Rehab

Bucking the odds, I soon debut as that kid in a rehab poster- but for a type we never saw coming.

The last time that I starred in a photograph in, or around water, it wasn’t flattering.

I made a wincing first impression in the water during the 750K doggy paddle, 15 mile bike, and 5k sprint at the inaugural race for the Deerfield Tri Team – with Captain LT Thompson (DA ’94, Williams ’98, Dad ’02, ’04, ’06) and fellow west coast call-up John Hansel (DA’94, UPenn ’98, Berkeley ’06) at the well documented 2005 Lake Hickory Triathlon. You wouldn’t know it was a race by this photo though, as I tend to prefer a lot of “personal space” so no one steals my secret techniques.

The path to redemption takes curious turns as a few months later I tore my retinaculum – a key tendon in the right knee. I'm banned from exercise for at least 4 months. Ouch. Who knew that a trade off from the daily sweat at Crunch gym to an invalid “patient” status at Complete Physical Therapy in Culver City would turn me in to the personification of athletic prowess, fame, and fitness?? If it weren’t for hobbling around like a Gimp for 6 months, I would never have been asked to... model for the Physcial Therapy’s new advertisements and website.

Wouldnt this image embrace you in a warm secure feeling of a rehabilitated you in 5-7 months as you writhed in agony in the Emergency Room after a beach volleyball ACL tear?

For a lot more modeling photos, you can check out "my book".