Friday Night Peach Pit - The Kress

Annalynne McCord (Homeschooled '05) is on 90210, she's on the cover of a free magazine handed out in pizza places and coffee shops, and she celebrated both at The Kress tonight (Fri 1o Oct) . The whole school was there!

McCord's schoolmate, varsity kickball captain Ryan Eggold (Santa Margarita Catholic H.S. - CA '02, USC '06) arrived early. 

West Beverly lacrosse player Kellan Lutz (Twilight '08) arrived later (above left).

 Oddly, both party sponsor LA Direct (left), which is the size of a paperback book, and its full size competitor 944, share the same tag line "Fashion, Entertainment, Lifestyle ...handed out free everywhere".

Arquette Offspring Vote for Fashion Over Politics

 

Rosanna Arquette (Desperately Seeking Susan '85, Pulp Fiction '94) right, Shiva Rose (Mrs. McDermott '06) left, and a bunch of debate-skippers overcompensating by sporting Obama T-shirts at the Barron Duquette launch at Fred Segal last night (8 October)

 

OK Magazine's Brenna Egan and Jon Warech - took a bunch of bad photos,so here's a drink of DeLeon Tequila that we drank instead of being fashionable.

Photo:Wireimage

One Sunset Turns One with a Celebrity Circus

Now that it's October, Olympians taste like stale Borat. Thus, Boston based USA Gymnastics champ Alicia Sacramone (Winchester H.S. - MA '06, Brown '10) turning up at One Sunset's 1st Birthday party last night (Thurs 3 October) raised a few question marks.

Remember her fling with Red Sox shortstop Jed Lowrie (Stanford '05), reported last month by Boston gossip royalty, the Inside Track? Who is in L.A. playing against the Angels in the playoffs? Related? (See, there are a lot of question marks.)

She might have been copying fellow party goer Lauren Conrad, who made it safe to date a baseball player earlier this year. As for Alicia, TMZ didn't harass her, as much as confuse her. (click the image above) While most celebrities hide or do a "walk and talk" at best, Alicia acted like a street reporter waiting for a cue, standing on her mark and patiently waiting for the camera man to light her and begin the sidewalk press conference. Weird.

The theme party itself - the Moulin Rouge goes to a dollhouse circus on uppers - rocked. A killer candy bar, David Arquette, unlimited bar, two life size Raggedy Anns having a pillow fight with cotton candy and two Dancing with the Stars stars- Kim Kardashian and Lance Bass.

Congrats to FoTCn Emily Olsen and the One Group (STK, Coco DeVille, Tenjune) on blowing out a candle, a milestone that few LA hotspots achieve.

Tony Parker Hosts at Eva's Restaurant - EA NBA Live 2009 Game Launch

He's on the cover of the game, and he was celebrating at his wife's restaurant, Beso last night (Fri 26 Sep).

Tony Parker (Paris Basket Racing '99) and Eva Longoria Parker (Roy Miller H.S. - TX '93, Texas A&M -Kingsville '97). A sarcastic person would say "She's holding the sign too low to block a non existent baby bump."

TV fans say there are two types of people: LOST people and "Heroes" People. Superheroes must love basketball because the party VIPs read like an NBC call sheet.

Greg Grunberg, center (The pilot on the LOST pilot '04, Heroes 'current) should be indecisive on which type of fan he is. Hero castmate Sendhil Ramamurthy, right (Keystone School, San Antonio '91) is equally puzzled.

Rapper Young Dre the Truth loves EA games as much as he loves L.A, having writen a song for Madden NFL '09.

The game has all kinds of wizzbats and ding-dangs called "Dynamic DNA" that updates throughout the year with the exact statistical data that real NBA teams get. The analogy applies -- Google Android Phone: Pony Express as NBA Live 2009: "Double Dribble".

This Guy is a Beverly Hills Drug Dealer

There was nothing to write about at the Reality Awards after party, so instead decided to cover Hollywood Vodka Queen^TM Reese Flener's (Pink Vodka 'current) birthday party at Bar Lubitsch.

Jon Warech (OK Magazine), Bobby Gold (90210), Erin Einhorn (UFlorida '02), and Reese

There we met a spicoli look-alike named Bobby Gold, who may or not be a drug dealer (probably not), but he plays one on TV. If you've been staying home on Tuesday nights, this is the "drug dealer" on the new 90210. Originally from Long Island, he scored the role in his first year in LA, and still works for P.I.N.K. vodka.

Tattle tale says: "They were not drinking p.i.n.k. vodka at their table.

UPDATE: Freelance fact checkers (commenters, click below) confirm that a bottle of P.I.N.K was drained and polished before my arrival. Nice work.

Hollywood Drinks Hennessey - If You Bribe us with LL Cool J and Ne Yo

Hennessey is a cognac. It is a type of brandy, produced in a special region of france. No, this is not from Wikipedia. We paid $465 to learn this a few years ago. You probably learned that for free from listening to hip hop.

When you rent out the largest behemoth of a club in Hollywood (this exact hour), "The Kress", and invite 866 tastemakers to hold up thier cell phones to take photos of 2 hip hop stars both born "Smith" - James Smith (LL Cool J) and Grammy Winner Shaffer Chimere Smith (Ne-Yo) performing in front of you, should we forgive you for your totalitarian bar regiment of Hennessey only? Is there vodka? "No, we're sponsored by Hennessey".  Can I BUY a vodka for $40? "No, you can have a Hennessey Sidecar". 

2 Guys Named Smith

So with gag reflexes intact, we sipped Hennessey Mojitos until we didn't taste it anymore. See corporate america, Hollywood parties work!! You got everyone to drink something, and like it* that they would never ever pay for. 

2/3 of the heroes of Hollyscoop.com  - Ani Esmalian and Diana Magpapaian (both UCSB '04) made a rare appearance on the party scene.

Spy photos of a coming attraction. On Sunday night (21 Sep), TV Guide will be throwing the largest post-Emmys party in this very tent on the grounds of the Kress.

*almost puked.

Giftbag Recon: InTouch Weekly Post-VMA Party

 By Monday, we mean at any point this week. Why does this heavy giftbag from the InTouch Weekly post-VMA party have a rule that every product must be loaded with sexual overtones of a one night stand?

Vaguely Left to Right. One night stand clues in green.

"Bed Head" Products everywhere. Besides the overall connotations of "bed...er... head", love the appropriately moniker'ed "After Party" pink stick-a-majig as the first item in this after party gift bag. Also, a bottle of red "hook up mousse". I always need "hook up mousse" on Sunday nights.

A folding recipe book of Flor-De-Cana rum cocktail recipes. Get 'em drunk, see what happens!

Kanye West's first novel - a novelty book with garishly displayed trite life advice on each page. Page Pictured: "Life is not what happens, it's 95% How your React". Like, how you react to taking photos??

Also in Kanye's "book", it says "Be leery of the free gift bag." We couldnt make this up.

Bed Head "Pet Head", a favorite of my Penthouse "Pet" Girlfirends.

David Beckham's Norwegian Sex Vitamins, called "Go3"

A big wooden brown dong/drink muddler to help "get'em drunk"

CD from live performers The Veronicas called "Hook It Up"

A sex toy style box with a porno blonde on the cover - that holds a (I'm told) totally expensive and awesome bed head hair straightener.

Birth Control Pamphlet for something called "Yaz". I always thought this Yaz was mood killer birth control enough.

What do fat burger eating teens need more than exercise? A lighter to smoke with.  This Burger King lighter says "Light up your night". Like the Billy Jean video?

"Smooth Sensation" from Nivea.

"Silky Smooth" Dark Chocolate from Dove.

Clarins Paris Gel Countour des Yeux  - "to remove puffiness and dark circles (after a one night stand)"

Magenta business card asking you to send an email to someone for a discount on something

Bed Head Born to Rock clean Wife Beater - throw it at your hook up in the monring as clean clothes

"Post Partum" headline screaming from the cover of the Magazine.

TGI Sunday: MTV VMA Week Over

The Finale - InTouch Weekly VMA Post Party

I'd write a real post but they gave away all the pills that keep you awake, lucid, and boring to Britney tonight for her dead eye'd teleprompter speed-read. So on Monday, I'll just review the gift bag instead.

One sighting: Kid Rock, David Spade, Travis Barker, and Jermaine Dupri shared a couch top to watch Leona Lewis sing in the Chateau Marmont garden. Only Jermaine Dupri "hooted" along with her. Kevin Farley tried to squeeze in too, but his heftiness knocked over a bunch of half full glasses on the shelf behind the sofa on to a bunch of girls behind him.

Gift Bag Review, post sleep.

Verizon Wireless Style Villa - Day 2: Now Gifting Babies

MTV Week, Day 5. Hangover Free

Uncle Perez Hilton played with his nephew Liam today at the Verizon Wireless Style Villa atop the Thompson Hotel today. (Sat 6 Sep) . Parents Tori (West Beverly '93) and Dean supervised.

The three were surprisingly very thick friends....who knew?

Some may say gifting suites are "getting old". Not when they are now gifting LIVE BABIES, even to non celebrities. (see below)

We would show you the rockstar offspring tot inside, but that would violate this sites' "No Weddings - No Babies" policy.

Here, E! Practice Squad player Michael Yo (Yo on E! Radio Show, Daily 10 Sub Co Host) picked up a Verizon Slide phone, which he would not give or sell to me even though I try to make him more famous.

See Photos taken by the professionals: Audrina Patridge, all the 90210 kids, Cris Judd, Rex Lee, and my favorite - Daryl from The Office - over here.

Tori/Perez iamge courtesy of the guy you wish was your photographer.

One of These Things Is Not Like the Other

 MTV Week, Day 4,Hangover 3.

If they ever catch Osama bin Laden, they should make him live in Las Vegas The Style Villa. In honor of the MTV awards, the famed celebrity gifting, socialite, and localite retreat hit LA today (Fri 5 Sep), and continues tomorrow.

One of these things is not like the other. New York (Tiffany Pollard '82), that Mikey Glazer guy, Omarosa (Rayen H.S. - Ohio '92)

Mondrian & Skybar Return

VMA Week, Night 3:

The iconic Skybar of the Friendster era is back! Emerging from the womb for its relaunch, a special stage covered the pool for a performace by Cat Powers and nicest guy in Hollywood ^TM Zen Freeman.

Jamie Foxx (Oscar '05) blew off Access Hollywood's repeated requests to talk and hid in cabana bar instead...

so they had to interview yours truly for comments instead.

Goloka Bolte, (left) answers the unasked question, "Can we leer at your cocktail?" Jodi Thomas, and the Mondrian's own Michelle Schoenfleder help model the $14 thirst quenchers given away free in honor of the rebirth.

EA Facebreaker Game Launch: Celebrity Fight Club

Normally, Hollywood fights are held at Les Deux. When it's famous fist throwers, it usually involves Fallen Lawn Boys. Instead, Celeb Fight Club invaded Avalon last night for the launch of EA Games "Facebreaker" game.


A cross town riot at the House of Blues reportedly began when concertgoers learned there was an opening to substitute in for either Heidi Montag or Spencer Pratt in this fight.

Has anyone figured it out yet....WHY?

A lot of blonde, good clean fun meet for the first time: Mary Carey (CA Gov Race '03, Celeb Rehab '08) and Jodie Sweetin (Full House'90s, Reality Show '08). Only one did rehab on TV. Both are amazingly sweet. Literally.

This Man Will Now Slice Your Chest Open

VMA Week, Night 2:

Dr. 90210, Robert Rey (ASU '83, Harvard MBA, Tufts MD '90) has a wicked lot of degrees, a new skin care line, and a party to promote it. He does not have a calendar.

It's His Party, and he'll dress like Diddy if he wants to. Thompson Hotel last night (Wed 3 Sep).

Over on the carpet, even Jon Warech (UFlorida '02, OK Magazine 'current) and lurking photog Vince Flores know you don't wear white after Labor Day.

Let those without fault cast the first snarky internet comment: Gorging on the Bond St. sushi and free champagne in lieu of that fad, "dinner", is the new cool thing to do.

Joe Francis Orders off the Menu at Coco DeVille

What's for dinner? Apparently some girl's face, if you're Joe Francis.(Laguna Beach H.S. '91, USC '95)

The GirlsGoneWild founder "got wild" himself while holding court on the patio of the Tuesday night hotspot last night (2 Sep).  A few eyeballs in our group saw him literally "eat a girls face".  He didnt eat this girl's face.

TheCHIMP.net file photo.

MTV Employees lurking around: Network starlet Tila Tequila (Singapore '81) and her 'Ronson, Courtney Semel took over Francis' table after he left "in a 40 person limo" (his words). Brody Jenner (Hills 'current) stole Fred Durst's headwearand took shots with a dude-bro at the bar.

Manager Rusty Morrone (Bliss '03, Boulevard 3 '06) continues with his face, and class, intact as the rare "solid" in this stormy sea.

It's MTV Week in L.A.

That means a lot of intense award speculation and nervous nominees partying. 

TheCHIMP.net will provide "spirited" coverage of everything we can sneak in to.

Check the twitter feed often, for sloppy text message updates "on the fly".

Random Thought: Having witnessed the famous kiss from 50ft away inside Radio City Music Hall in 2003, how come nobody remembers Christina Aguilera? Not only was she on stage with them (as was Missy Elliot ??), Christina got Britney's sloppy seconds. The Brit kiss was 1.5 seconds earlier.  I wonder what we'll forget this year...besides everything.

Back to Cool with Daftbird

Back to School doesn't suck when there is a party at Lisa Kline Men on Robertson Blvd, you can try on dope scarves (Daftbird, scarf not out till Nov 30) and you get a lunch box souvenior....with LUNCH inside.*

*Chipotle gift certificates for 2 of everything on the menu qualify as "cool kid lunch"

High fives to Bollare for looking after TheCHIMP.net personnel.

With scarf sister Alena Herwehe (Harris Shepard Public Relations 'current)

Special Delivery from DJ AM: The Stork

"Mommy, where do babies nightclubs come from?"
"DJ AM puts a Stork in his mouth and flies them in to the Kodak Theatre's doorstep."

In the exponentially short timeline of Hollywood hotspots, just yesterday, Crown Bar was the whitehotspot.

Tonight DJ AM (Spielberg Daughter Bat Mitzvah DJ '98) and partner Loyal Pennings who founded hotspot LAX (Holllywood '05, Vegas '07) open The Stork. Going totally out of the box, they're throwing a big celebrity bash. Pennings' most recent prior invention is a frighteningly effective privacy invasion gadget effective security gizmo .

Large outdoor patio? Wrought iron over the brick privacy wall? (top left) Hmm, reminds us of a certain french themed exterier hotspot that with its huge garden defies all equations of the nightlife deathspiral (Les Deux, bottom left).

TMZ should have the rejections by coffee time tomorrow.

Live on Scene:Madden 2009 Launch Party

All photos actually taken by TheCHIMP.netVerne Troyer (Centreville H.S. - MI '86, Mini Me '97, '99, '03) uses full size controllers.

Even the most successful video game franchise of all time can't keep up with late breaking news. The game's cover hero Brett Farve now sports the WRONG jersey.Nonetheless, this party remains a highlight of every summer and the blowout at sister hotspots STK and CoCo DeVille brought out a pro-bowl of famous fans last night. (Thurs 7 Aug)

Televised Bi-Sexual Tila Tequila arrived with a girl but danced with a boy. Appropriate.

Actual Exchange overheard with Zach Levi: "Hey Zach, what's up with (showing up in) your flip flops and shorts?"
Zach: "I just came from work (NBC's Chuck). Gimme a Break"

The game is 20 years old. This Reebok sneaker is not.

Sal Masakela (Carlsbad H.S. - CA '89, E!'s Daily 10 'current) graciously hosted both Kevin Federline and jilted mother of his children Shar Jackson at his table. These two might have 2 kids togehter, but they avoided each other from 3 feet away. So awkward that even Masakela (above) grimaces in agony. US Weekly watched at my side with rapt attention.

Celebrity Kickball in Malibu

Billed as "The Battle of the Summer". By our count, that would be the 2nd skirmish in that zip code this summer.

Just 7 days ago, I emerged victorious in a croquette tournament while breaking the "tennis whites" dress code on an elite lawn of Nantucket, Mass.

Back in outer space aka the west coast we do more normal stuff, like Saturdays playing Celebrity Kickball in Malibu, courtesy of French Connection. Yes, that is a step and repeat finagled on a baseball backstop. (Click to enlarge)Yes, that is the ,godfather godmother of blogging, a no-more-backfat Perez Hilton. Kudos, mate!

Team Captain Leslie Bibb (St. Gertrude's H.S. - VA '92, Iron Man '08) tends to a bloodied knee. All bleeders got automatic MVP kudos.

Nick Kroll (Best Week Ever 'Current) is awesome at eating watermelon and drinking Newcastles in the outfield. You must get to know him better.'Kicks to Hostess Alle Fister (Pepperdine '04) who could gaze at her alma mater perched across the PCH ...if she wasn't rocking out with a boombox in her face.
As new resident of CW's 90210 Ryan Eggold (West Beverly '10) stepped to the plate, he waived off the suggestions that he is "The new Luke Perry" and "The New Ian Ziering".Jessica Schimmel (Star Magazine ' Current) and Elissa Buchter (Cardozo H.S. - NY, U Miami) are not lost on their way to the Bridgehampton Polo Grounds.

It's been less than 48 hours, and all 4 Chipotle free burrito coupons in the giftbags are DUST. See people, gift bags work.

Ozzy Osbourne Surprise Appearance with Camp Freddy at XGames Party

A few well chronicled passions of this very website unexpectedly collided at ESPN's XGames XIV Concert/Party at the House of Blues last night (Fri 1 August).

Camp Freddy, LOST, and ESPN. There was even some reality millionairres floating around.

All British highlights: Naveen Andrews (Emanuel School - UK '87, Sayid Jarrah Flt 815 '04) jumped up with to rock guitar with Dave Navarro (and later had to self massage his guitar wailing shoulder from rocking out - see photo).

We should have suspected something bigger coming as a non traditional "lead singer rug" lay on the stage all night....a placemat of sorts, on which they served up Ozzy Osbourne (Prince Albert Rd Jr School '50s) to a shocked audience. Even the Prince of Darkness' knees need cushion when rocking.Video of "the reveal" follows.

Live on Scene: Oakley X-Games Kick Off Party

Lil Jon, Host/PR Babe Rembrandt Flores, and Dingo (Unabomber '97)

You are only forgiven for wearing sunglasses in a nightclub on one special night of the year, the Oakley X-Games Kick Off Party. This year's edition - last night (Wed 30 July) @ Keyclub on the Sunset Strip.Samantha Ronson hobo hats are still not forgiven, dude.

Like a fireman, Host Lil John arrived on scene with a hustle...scurried right through the front door, kept walking directly through the crowd to the stage, grabbed the mic without pausing, and introduced the performers before even looking around. Less like a fireman, he later chugged a Patron Silver bottle on stage to fluff the crowd.
In honor of Lil Jon's (Jonathan Mortimer Smith '71, Douglass H.S. - Atlanta '89) rally cry catchphrase"OK!" ....the OK magazine's party patrol of Jon Warech and Ryan Smith made the scene.

Among the sponsors that didn't buy us drinks at the cash bar: Muscle Milk and New Era Caps.Masthead of the new LAX magazine, Siobhan Higgins and Elizabeth Matthews smile because they landed Joe Torre for their inaugural cover.

The poor man's Brody Jenner tried not to be noticed in the VIP.

The X Games air live from LA on ABC and ESPN over the next 8-10 hangovers.