Giftbag Recon: InTouch Weekly Post-VMA Party

 By Monday, we mean at any point this week. Why does this heavy giftbag from the InTouch Weekly post-VMA party have a rule that every product must be loaded with sexual overtones of a one night stand?

Vaguely Left to Right. One night stand clues in green.

"Bed Head" Products everywhere. Besides the overall connotations of "bed...er... head", love the appropriately moniker'ed "After Party" pink stick-a-majig as the first item in this after party gift bag. Also, a bottle of red "hook up mousse". I always need "hook up mousse" on Sunday nights.

A folding recipe book of Flor-De-Cana rum cocktail recipes. Get 'em drunk, see what happens!

Kanye West's first novel - a novelty book with garishly displayed trite life advice on each page. Page Pictured: "Life is not what happens, it's 95% How your React". Like, how you react to taking photos??

Also in Kanye's "book", it says "Be leery of the free gift bag." We couldnt make this up.

Bed Head "Pet Head", a favorite of my Penthouse "Pet" Girlfirends.

David Beckham's Norwegian Sex Vitamins, called "Go3"

A big wooden brown dong/drink muddler to help "get'em drunk"

CD from live performers The Veronicas called "Hook It Up"

A sex toy style box with a porno blonde on the cover - that holds a (I'm told) totally expensive and awesome bed head hair straightener.

Birth Control Pamphlet for something called "Yaz". I always thought this Yaz was mood killer birth control enough.

What do fat burger eating teens need more than exercise? A lighter to smoke with.  This Burger King lighter says "Light up your night". Like the Billy Jean video?

"Smooth Sensation" from Nivea.

"Silky Smooth" Dark Chocolate from Dove.

Clarins Paris Gel Countour des Yeux  - "to remove puffiness and dark circles (after a one night stand)"

Magenta business card asking you to send an email to someone for a discount on something

Bed Head Born to Rock clean Wife Beater - throw it at your hook up in the monring as clean clothes

"Post Partum" headline screaming from the cover of the Magazine.

TGI Sunday: MTV VMA Week Over

The Finale - InTouch Weekly VMA Post Party

I'd write a real post but they gave away all the pills that keep you awake, lucid, and boring to Britney tonight for her dead eye'd teleprompter speed-read. So on Monday, I'll just review the gift bag instead.

One sighting: Kid Rock, David Spade, Travis Barker, and Jermaine Dupri shared a couch top to watch Leona Lewis sing in the Chateau Marmont garden. Only Jermaine Dupri "hooted" along with her. Kevin Farley tried to squeeze in too, but his heftiness knocked over a bunch of half full glasses on the shelf behind the sofa on to a bunch of girls behind him.

Gift Bag Review, post sleep.

Verizon Wireless Style Villa - Day 2: Now Gifting Babies

MTV Week, Day 5. Hangover Free

Uncle Perez Hilton played with his nephew Liam today at the Verizon Wireless Style Villa atop the Thompson Hotel today. (Sat 6 Sep) . Parents Tori (West Beverly '93) and Dean supervised.

The three were surprisingly very thick friends....who knew?

Some may say gifting suites are "getting old". Not when they are now gifting LIVE BABIES, even to non celebrities. (see below)

We would show you the rockstar offspring tot inside, but that would violate this sites' "No Weddings - No Babies" policy.

Here, E! Practice Squad player Michael Yo (Yo on E! Radio Show, Daily 10 Sub Co Host) picked up a Verizon Slide phone, which he would not give or sell to me even though I try to make him more famous.

See Photos taken by the professionals: Audrina Patridge, all the 90210 kids, Cris Judd, Rex Lee, and my favorite - Daryl from The Office - over here.

Tori/Perez iamge courtesy of the guy you wish was your photographer.